Heart Scene: Honoring A Friend and Applying An Important Lesson

You learn a lot of important life lessons when you successfully navigate the bumpy waters of open-heart surgery. In fact we will be doing an episode of our Heart Scene series on the lessons I learned.

The first lesson is something it took me a lifetime to learn: Sometimes you have to admit that you can't do everything you want to do, and that's OK.

This week I had a very practical application of that lesson.

This weekend a dear friend and someone who called here several times during and after my surgery, George Parks, is celebrating his 30th year of teaching at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.

Kitch and I were invited as honorary guests of the UMass Band. We wanted to be there in the worst way to celebrate the accomplishments of Professor Parks. Unfortunately, I had some difficulties at cardiac rehab last Friday and again on Monday, and I was advised to decrease my activities and increase my rest.

This afternoon, I spent a good deal of time writing something that will be read by Heather Felder at the banquet for George. It is the best I can do because: Sometimes you have to admit that you can't do everything you want to do, and that's OK.

This is what I wrote:

By: Anthony J. Mussari
Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Producers: Building Power & Class

One place we would like to be this weekend is Amherst, Massachusetts

One group we would like to be with is the University of Massachusetts Band Family.

One person we would enjoy celebrating is Professor George N. Parks.

Mr. Parks and the UMass Band came into our lives unexpectedly all those years ago. Together they provided magic moments, marvelous memories and an opportunity to do something that would have an indelible impact on our lives, our teaching careers and the way we look at the world.

The music was magic. The enthusiasm, competence and commitment of the band were something we had never experienced. The drum corps was exceptional. The practices were energizing, the bus trips were long…especially the one that took us to Indiana for the Bands of America Competition. What a moment that was… the first step on the road to the Sudler Trophy.

Yet, wonderful as these and so many other things were, it was the philosophy and the values of the man you gather to celebrate this evening that left an indelible mark on our souls.

George Parks is a great musician. We all know that. He is a great motivator, just look around this room. He is a conductor like no one we have ever seen in a music hall.

But there is another aspect of this man’s life that distinguishes him in ways that are both impressive and humbling.

He is a teacher in the very best sense of the word, and most importantly, he is a man of his word. His words are rock solid like his heart and soul.

The work of a teacher is about giving…not taking. It is about forgiving…not rejecting. It is about understanding…not alienation. It is about affirming…not demeaning. It is about optimism…not pessimism. It is about community…not isolation. It is about standards, expectations, dreams, accomplishments and values…not ego.

Teaching is about taking young people to new places and introducing them to new people. It is about challenging them to be the best people they can be, and in my case, it was about helping them to change behaviors that will hold them back.

Teaching is about teaching young people how to “dream dreams that never were and ask why not.”

George understands this, and that is why we are friends.

He knows that there is more to an education than making a living. He knows that there is more to music than notes on a page. He knows that there is more to teaching than technique.

He knows that the greatest, most lasting lessons and compositions are about the kindness of an understanding heart.

George Parks and his wife, Jeanne, demonstrated to Kitch and me everything we hoped for in every student we ever taught, and in so doing, they filled us with optimism and a belief that we could tell the story of the values of the Minuteman Marching Band, Building Power & Class.

To this day it is one of our most favorite documentaries…not because we earned a lot of money…we didn’t earn a cent.

Not because it made us famous. We are not celebrities, and we like it that way.

Not because it made life easier for us. On the contrary, when we bought into what George was dreaming and teaching…personal leadership and achievement through sacrifice and delayed gratification…life became more difficult.

Why, you ask? Because for the most part people don’t understand those values.

That is why your band and your director are so different and so worthy of the praise you give each other this evening.

Without George, there would be no band…not like the one recorded in Building Power and Class. Without young people like you there would be no George.

So in the end, this evening is as much about you as the wonderful director you celebrate.

You gave him your eyes when he asked for them. You came to attention when he bellowed that call. You gave him long hours of practice and rehearsal without much complaint. You trusted him the way he trusted you.

You believed as much in the man as you did in his dream, and his message, a message of excellence, hope, trust and great music.

You remembered the most important lesson he ever taught you in one of those star thought moments: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

That is what makes George Parks and you The Power and Class of New England.

There is no place we would rather be than in Amherst, Massachusetts, but I was advised to stay at home and rest.

During the evening, if you look to one corner of the room, you will see two old bandos, dressed in the UMass Band jackets you gave us after that marvelous concert on Main Street in Wilkes-Barre all those years ago. There will be broad smiles on our faces because we will be experiencing a singular moment in the life of a great man. It is a moment he deserves, and a moment that he will never forget. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make an indelible mark on George’s wonderful heart.

May God bless you Mr. Parks. May your wonderful leadership and music live on in the hearts and souls of everyone you touch. We know for certain it does in us.

Tony & Kitch Mussari

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